What you shouldn’t gift a man

Days before New Year’s Eve, and the prospect of another give and take of gifts, a friend posted a message on a WhatsApp group. Enough with the gifts, he said, in essence.

The gentleman had been sorting out his house, and noticed that there were several barely used or surplus items taking up space. It is true he was speaking mainly about children’s gifts. Nevertheless, the problem of token gifting is relevant to the world of grown-ups as well. And it is timely to talk about it now, with the gifting season on, when yet another coffee mug, a box of grocery store chocolate, or worse, a photo frame, will clutter your home or office locker.

If you wish that your gift doesn’t end up in the home of your friend’s maid, you may want to reset your gifting approach.

Getting a good gift is actually not that hard. Even if it is for a person you don’t know that well. The process of secretly decoding his or her likes, and then locating something for them, can be enjoyable. It brings about the satisfaction of solving a riddle.

The art of gifting has only one rule. It shouldn’t be boring. We cavort in a marketplace that is replete with interesting objects. And many of them are affordable. To give one example, a shop at Shimla’s Mall Road was selling a mirror affixed in the door of a New York taxi. It wasn’t cheap. It wasn’t exorbitant either.

If your giftee is a man, your job is simpler. Buy him sports or exercise equipment. At a family event recently, someone eschewed regulation mithai boxes and took skipping ropes for the kids. It was a clever move — original, cost effective and one which brought an instant smile on the faces of children.

An hour’s lesson in sport or an activity also makes a good gift. Experiences beat objects anyway. Clothes are a reliable option too. If you don’t want to worry about sizing, there’s cologne or deodorants. If that is a bit personal, think about cigars. And if the price is a constraint, get him a six-pack of beer and be done with it. He will be happy. But no handicrafts please. Most men don’t care for them, even if they are made from exotic natural elements. Men don’t care for flowers either. In The Godfather, when Don Vito Corleone receives a giant bouquet from his godson Johnny Fontane, he mumbles to his consigliere, “What’s this nonsense? Take it away.”

There are times we can decide on a no-gifting policy. But there are times when there is no alternative. Gifts will have to be given. That is understandable. At such occasions, what can be mutually agreed upon, perhaps, is to share a list of things peo-ple do not wish to receive. That would save a lot of trouble during house cleaning.